The 5 Reasons You Can't Stick To A Diet Anymore

It was around 4 years ago when I noticed. Every time I tried to start over, or stick to a program, or "eat clean" in an effort to lose the weight I'd inevitably gained (from the last time I gave up on a program), the amount of time I was able to stick with it dwindled. 

Sure at first, 10, 15, even 20 years ago - I was much more "disciplined". Able to follow whatever plan I'd picked for that season for however long, but an important shift took over as I crept into my mid-30s. I went from being able to restrict and workout for 12 weeks, to 8 weeks, even down to 4 weeks...but it was really obvious to me when I'd barely make it through a couple of days before throwing my hands up and failing again. 

I had spent the better part of my life trying to shrink my body, no matter the cost; literally and figuratively. In high school I remember understanding that the size of my body mattered to other people, and if it mattered to other people, it had to matter to me. It was my responsibility to keep it in check, to control it and have it look a certain way. 

The next 20 years was filled with so many amazing things, but it was also plagued with a constant, underlying dissatisfaction and hatred for my body. I spent so much time and effort and energy focused on something that I'd later realize wasn't even possible:

That bodies cannot be controlled or manipulated the way I'd believed they could. 

Once I learned this, everything shifted - and if you're reading this, I'd venture to say you've experienced some of these same patterns.  Perhaps you're stuck in the part of the cycle where you feel like a failure for still not being able to "figure it out" - let me help you understand things a little bit differently...

1. Your body is wired to fight restriction. 

As human beings, our bodies prioritize survival; and we obviously need food to survive. Diets, restriction, food rules - anything that reduces the amount of food we're consuming is seen as a threat. 

When our body notices this threat, it responds with increased hunger, stronger cravings for food, more thoughts about food (ahem, all that food noise everyone is talking about...its really just a hunger cue), and then our metabolism slows down in order to preserve energy. 

It's not that we've lost discipline over the years - I would argue that those of us who have dieted are actually quite disciplined. All that's happening is that your body is just doing a really good job of keeping you alive. 

2. Restriction comes in many forms, you may not even realize what's keeping you stuck in this cycle.

It's not just physical restriction of food that sets of the alarm bells in your body. Thinking about food in terms of good or bad, healthy or unhealthy, fattening or slimming, creates a set of food rules that we try to live by.

These rules may not seem like they're restriction - especially if you think them but don't follow through (for example, "I shouldn't eat those cookies" then 10 minutes later you eat said cookies); what you're experiencing is perceived restriction...and it works the same was as physical restriction. 

These rules trigger that same urgency and food noise, even if you're getting enough calories for your body to function because it creates a sense of scarcity. It also makes us want those things more - if foods are off limits, we want them more intensely (hello, diet rebel voice).

You know where this takes you? To the place where you feel out of control around the foods you try to restrict 🤯

3. You give less fucks.

Let's be real - there is way too much going on in the world right now to waste your precious energy on trying to change your body. Nothing happens in a vacuum. Ever since the pandemic, things have changed dramatically. We are not meant to live at this level of stress and being in constant fight or flight - but alas, here we are. 

Now, we are in the era of wanting to finally learn how to be gentle with ourselves, develop the same compassion we have for others within our bodies, and break the cycle of this insanity so it doesn't ravage the younger generations like it did us. 

 4. The only thing that's consistent about life, is that it's inconsistent.

Diets and plans and programs don't consider any emotional or environmental realities. They bank on the expectation of consistency, and we then carry the weight of that expectation...the problem is, nothing about life is consistent. 

We strive for consistency, considering it a moral failure if it's not achieved, meanwhile it's an impossible expectation. Failures fall on our shoulders if we can't follow the plan, because that's how they're designed...why don't we ever consider that the diet is what has failed us? 

❌ Diets have made us feel like social events are a burden to deal with on a path to weight loss, rather than being something to enjoy. 

❌ Diets have made us feel like the stresses of life bringing us to our knees makes us undisciplined. 

❌ Diets have led us to hate our bodies so much that we avoid mirrors.

❌ Diets have taken away one of the most important parts of the human experience: foods ability to provide comfort, stimulate connection, embrace our cultures and celebrate with one another. 

Why would we be motivated to follow something that makes us sacrifice so much? 

5. Your body learns from every diet. 

Every single time you try something new, your body learns and becomes smarter. It notices patterns of restriction. It pays attention when things shift again. It becomes increasingly more protective and sensitive to these shifts, and it blocks us harder. 

Hunger signals get stronger. Weight won't come off like it used to. You can't stick with it as long as the last time; each time you try again, that timeline shrinks more. It's not your body giving up, it's not your discipline, or willpower - it's your body protecting you from making the same mistakes again. 

It's your body working exactly as it's supposed to. 

You are not broken. You are not a failure. You are at a crossroads. 

Will you continue to choose the diet cycle? Or are you ready to finally choose your body? 

If you can't stick with diets anymore, your body and your brain are tired of fighting for survival - and I think that's something worth listening to. 

If you're ready for something different, here are a few suggestions to get started: 

Learn more about intuitive eating (I have a course for that), find and join supportive communities (I'm building one of those), and consider working with a weight-inclusive, anti-diet dietitian (that's me too, and I accept insurance). You don't have to figure it all out alone, and you definitely don't have to keep fighting against your body.